My Name Is Jazz

My blog number 11

Been in love

When I was 8 I went to a specel school and they was a boy and we fell in love
And he came to my 8th bd party and I had my freest kiss and he usto come to my uth club and say hi thew the gate
I cart rember why we dident see one and u nuther now for years but I think it’s because we moved house.

The we went on holiday i was 10 and I met a girl and that was onley puppy love and thats when I throat i was gay and I don’t think I came out I think every one guess I was but I cart remember to be sure.

Then i was 13 I fell in love with a young girl But she wasn’t gay and one day we went to see her mum and dad in the shop and I ask her dad were she was and he said with her boy friend and The mass hobial felling came in my body and I felt so upset and so Jelus and I went home feeling sick and the next day I was love sick.

Then I fell in love with Vegetable boy. I was rally fuck up and confust. was I gay strat or bi and I still in love with him to this day.

And then I was 16 I fell in love with a gay girl and then I thort this is the one but she had a girl.i sent a valentines card but mum said she was not the one for me. It wasent to controll me its because she nose me and loved me and she nose me better then Ey one.

And then i was 18 fell in love with a boy and the I was so confust and he’s a bad boy but a Harte of gold and he got a staffy dog like me.

Then I fell in love with a girl And I thort she was in love with me to
And we became friends on Facebook and we wear talking a lot and she was call me Hun and the she said call me and we had a rally long chat and I said do u wont to go for a drink And she said I like boys and I felt Harte broke ageing and obsess with her.

and now I don’t no what I am. I’ve got no one and I fell its because
I gay and starting to fell that’s a rally bad thing and its because I feel ugly
But then I just think no u not u are rally lucky and buttefull but I just rally froststatus I haven’t got no one.
I just one to hold the love of live hand and kiss them yuckkkkk!!!!! And get down on one leg in the snow and a galls of champing and with a rally starship night and ask them to marry me that is my dream I so won’t to Badly.

I feel I’m ready for facebook but mum dident but she oley dident won’t me get hert but I just won’t to fell loved in that way and to walk down the street with her or he in my hands with buster and coco felling so prows and then mybee have I kid but some times I fell its not going to come true And that’s so pine full for me and I tack it out on my mum Woch is not nice for her because she fell giltey for not letting me dates yet and its not fear on me slowley slowley.

And rally bugs me like hell

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4 thoughts on “My Name Is Jazz

  1. Jazz, all the things you feel I would say a pretty normal for a young person your age. Feeling confused and not truly knowing yourself is often part of being a teenager. I promise you will get there though. When you are young you want all the answers to everything straight away but when you get older you wish that you sometimes you could go back to those times when everything was new and undecided. Enjoy your youth and your love will come, I’m sure. You obviously have a very big heart and someone will be lucky to have it, so wait for the right person, don’t give it just anyone. xx

    Thank you for sharing on the Weekly Adoption Shout Out.

  2. It must be confusing every time you think you’ve worked out your sexuality – only to fall in love again! I remember falling in love with a girl when I was 13, I thought “I’m not gay, it’s a phase and it’ll be a boy next time…” It wasn’t!! I came out at about 15, and luckily my Mum and my friends accepted me for who I was. I do still have an open mind though, in my day-to-day life I don’t really think of myself as a lesbian. I think of myself as someone who is lucky to have found someone whom I love and trust and who loves me back. We are lucky to live in the modern world, where we were able to get married (well, civil partnership) and now we’ve got an amazing little daughter!

    I don’t want you to think that being gay or bi is a reason for loneliness – it’s not! You have a right to love who you love and you don’t need to put your identity in a box to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. I fell in love with my (straight?) best friend at 16…. a year later she was in love with me too and now (13 years later…) we’re a family!! I reckon that there’s someone out there waiting for you – and like Sarah says – you don’t have to rush into it.

    Being in love can be very intense and scary, and make you feel crap about yourself if it is unrequited. I’m pleased that you know your Mum is looking out for your best interests. You can trust her. My mum helped me when there was a girl who was leading me on – she could see what I couldn’t because I was a bit obsessed!!

    Just be yourself and don’t worry if you’re gay or bi or straight, it’s all cool. I’m pretty sure that soon enough you’ll find a special person who deserves your love. All the best xx

  3. Hey Jazz, I often read your blog. I like how honest and confident you are to write about your feelings like that. The fact that you are so aware of your feelings says a lot about how well you do actually know yourself…even though it may not seem like it some days. I didn’t meet my husband until I was 28 and man, are we in love! Some times you just have to wait for the right person and be very very…very very patient! hahah.

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