My Name Is Jazz: Triggers

So we call the things what set me off triggers and that anger is what we call the volcan over flowing

And what kind off things set me off r things like having flash backs seeing blood or clowns dreaming about my berth dad and seeing him as a clown or like I see him in the war or in danger and I cart save him because I haven’t got the power and he dies agin and agin and then he jump it’s at me as a clown and then I wack up in a fall mood which macks uther people mad with me and it a fishus sercull.

I keep it in and then I’m getting more and more angry as the day gets on then say we go out and I get even more trigger off then I will get home and start walking a round like a chimp

And then say sum one says sum think like just get a grip or macks lots of banning noise when cooking and I flip and start lasing out
And hitting or kikking them or spitting at them and I cart cam down for a long time.

If they say if don’t stop your phone or Xbox or lapping is not happing for a month that just winds me more and more and gets me more pisst off.

after I cam down we talk about the triggers and try 2 fix them but we all wound preface me to talk 2 them about the triggers frest and then the doors to the dogs can get un look and dogs cum out and we try 2 settle down but don’t get me rong it can tack 2 big kik offs 2 cam down but at the end off the day I don’t rally get angry much anymore because I talk about my fellings more and try not 2 let bad dreams get 2 me but sum times I cart and I fell rally said and hert and If peppel have also got angry facets when I moody it macks me fell even wers and it just winds me even more

I like to play lound music to get my anger out.

 

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Jazz Blog: The Joy Of Smells

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The joy of smells but it can mack me fell fuck up.

My fav smell is mummy bear and it makes me fell that every thing is going to be okay and I’m safe. when my sport workers come I no when they coming by their smell. so say like when Kat gets hear and say I’m in my room I will smell her and that smell makes me very very existed and makes me fell happy and giddy and like I’m going to wet my self out of giddiness. if Kris’s here and I smell her and that makes me fell giddy and all so makes me fell very safe. when Andi is here that give me flash backs to when he use to hold me as a kid. When clads here that makes me fell all cute and I no then that clads is here and that means that it’s okay and I fell like I’m loved. say if u put sum think over my eyes so I cart see I will Abel to smell who is next to me and if they change the smell of that person I rally don’t like it because it makes me fell like they are not the person I no and not familiar and I don’t no them but my brain is saying u do but my nose isn’t And it brushes me off and makes me fell angry and that they don’t love me or kear about me. My smell makes me fell safe and sum time cross because I sum times get so existed I wet my self and that give me flash back from bean a baby. if mum says who’s is the top or jumper etc I will say who it belongs to. Even when I only no them for 10 mins I get attached to there smell in seconds and I like to share my stuff with them because when they have gone I put it on and it macks me fell safe and it reasores me that they are still here even tho u cart see them. if they go on holiday I won’t wash my jumper or what eaver they have toch because there smell go starte on to it and I no that seams mad but that’s what macks me fell safe.
I’m bloody mad lol
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